Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
