soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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