Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You are a genius and a whore.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
