where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
