The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize