I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
