Walk of Shame. In a state park.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
even my farts smell like vagina
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
