I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
