just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
We're facebook friends in real life
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
