Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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