Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
