I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
