all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
