Just mADE A PArabola og urine
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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