She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
