There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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