peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
