I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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