I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
