She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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