WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
