in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
