the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she looked like the before picture.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize