Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize