where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
