there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
