Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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