I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
