just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
