quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
