marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
