I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
