i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
