I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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