just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
