your parents love me but you hate me
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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