I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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