Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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