he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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