It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize