he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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