good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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