I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I can't trust your balls anymore.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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