I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
