so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
