Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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