Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
They have beer where we have blood.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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