No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
as a side note pls kill me
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
