You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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