it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
