1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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