Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
