im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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