We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
