She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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