i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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