Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
