She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
