singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
