haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
