Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
