I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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