Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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