Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
